It might be kind of obvious, but my name is Ellen, and I’m an avid adult gamer who has been gaming since I was a wee child. I have no plans to stop anytime soon. I credit video games with helping me get through some of the challenges in my life. It has been very comforting having a little virtual sandbox to escape to and forget about what’s going on in the real world for a few hours a day. I use to consider myself one of those people who enjoys collecting trophies/achievements/100% clearing games, but these days I take a more casual approach. I simply play to enjoy them, and I don’t really find much entertainment in the competitive aspect of them. Don’t get me started on some of the online gaming communities…
I also enjoy collecting games. When I was younger I made the mistake of selling my Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64. I’ve since bought new systems, but I’m still working on tracking down some of the games I use to have. As far as my brand loyalties go, I prefer to play all sides. I do have a soft spot for Nintendo due to fond childhood memories of beginning my gaming career. Nostalgia is a powerful thing! I still enjoy Sony and Microsoft’s consoles though. As long as I’m provided with quality entertainment, I really don’t care who manufactured it.
I might be stating the obvious again, but my favourite video game character is Lightning from the legendary Final Fantasy XIII Trilogy (why yes, I do have a horrible taste in video games. Thanks for noticing! 🙂 ). I often see “moody” and “uninteresting” used to describe this fearsome female protagonist. I won’t lie, it annoys me whenever I see those shallow comments about her, but I completely respect people who see her this way. Fictional characters are open to the viewer’s interpretation, and I see her in a completely different light. Her emotions are chaotic, just like bolts of lightning, and she puts on a tough face to hide them from the world. She’s terrible at showing it, but she cares more about the people around her than she does about herself. She pushes people away to protect them. She shuts herself away to shield herself from the unforgiving world that she hates being a part of.
In my almost 25 years of video gaming, Lightning is the ONLY character I’ve controlled that I’ve felt a special connection with. She is exactly as cranky, stubborn, and fiercely independent as I am in real life. My whole life no one has understood me, and I’ve felt so alone in this messed up world on many occasions. I was going through a particularly rough time when I played Final Fantasy XIII, and discovering a character that was like me helped more than words are capable of explaining. I wanted to become stronger like she was and I changed my lifestyle completely. I started eating healthier, exercising frequently, and even got brave enough to try out a martial art called Combat Hapkido. I turned into a much happier person because of this.
Shortly after I completed Lightning’s epic journey across three different games, I discovered something that explained my constant feelings of not belonging anywhere: My Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. It turns out I’m a INFJ, and when I read the description I wanted to hug my computer monitor. For the first time ever, I realized there are other humans out there who feel exactly like I do. INFJs are hard to understand, we don’t even understand ourselves most of the time, and I think Lightning is also a misunderstood INFJ. I know she’s not real, but Lightning Farron will always be my badass idol that I look up to whenever I need a morale boost in this crazy world of ours. She has taught me that a grim fate can always be challenged, and her inspiring quotes throughout the Final Fantasy XIII Trilogy will always bring me strength.
GIFs are awesome, aren’t they? Oh and I might have an ever so slight addiction problem with those adorable Nintendo Amiibo figures. Please don’t ask me how many I have now. It’s embarrassing when my answer is “ALL OF THEM!”
In addition to video games and cute plastic things, writing words down to form sentences also plays a crucial role in maintaining my fragile sanity. I’ve been a wannabe writer for a long time now, even though my day job is in the electronics field. There’s that nagging voice in the back of my head that wants to be a published author someday, but my logical side knows that will never happen. I had originally started this blog as a tracker to help me clear a huge video game backlog mess I got myself into (formerly known as “Conquering the Gaming Backlog”). I’ve since realized that is a hopeless quest I no longer want to embark on, but I’ve discovered a supportive blogging community here on WordPress. It’s something wonderful that this usually cranky INFJ will always treasure.
This blog is now an outlet for my pent-up thoughts and overly charged emotions. I doubt many, if any, people are interested in my long chains of words, but thanks to anyone who takes the time to read my incoherent ramblings.
If for some odd reason you’d like to contact me, or if you need someone to vent about anything to, see way to do so below:
Copyright notice: I make $0 from blogging and I “borrowed” most of the images used in my blog from the almighty Google Images. If you see something that’s yours, let me know and I’ll stop using it (or I can give you the credit you deserve). The great Lightning Farron is a character owned by Square Enix, and Ellen is just hiding from cruel reality by using Lightning’s likeness (Please don’t sue me!). All the windy words here are mine, and cannot be used anywhere without my permission. Don’t make me go all Lightning on you…